Spiritual Enlightenment
Monday, November 24th, 2008While traveling in China I visited the Longman caves in Luoyang. I grabbed a taxi in the city and we went over to the caves, which are located about 40 kilometers away. While in the taxi I felt a bit queasy, but I did not pay it much attention. I attributed it to being tired or motion sickness, although the driver was not swarming all over the place.
When I arrived at the cave complex, all of the sudden, I felt hungry. I ate a few pork buns before I left town, but I guess it was not enough. I went into one of the small restraints and had me some fried noodles. I felt a bit better, but I was still feeling kind of weak.
To avoid walking a lot, I took an electric car from the gate to the caves. The caves are situated on a riverbank, and the air was a bit cool and misty. I arrived at the first cave and started looking at the Buddha statues. I was thinking how similar they are to the Ajunta cave complex in India, which I visited many years back. All of the sudden it hit me!
I was on the second floor of one of the caves. I ran like crazy to the metal railing, and I threw up all my noodles, vomiting like a fire breathing dragon. I must have sprayed many people bellow with my puke. I felt dizzy; I could not walk, and just collapsed on the floor. As I was laying down on the cold floor, the Buddha statue was in front of me. It made me feel comfortable looking at it, but I could not move my limbs. My head was spinning, and the Chinese people passing by were just smirking at me.
I laid down for about ten minutes, then attempted to resume walking through the caves. I walked to the next cave; vomiting a bit on the floor, I ran to the railing and puked my guts out. There was hardly any food left to come out; it was mostly liquid. The Buddha statues were serine and ominous at the same time. I laid down on the floor and attempted to regain my composure. After a short break, I ventured to walk to the next cave enclave, but it was a futile endeavor.
I finally made it to the riverbank – the first floor of the caves, and I felt my internals ready to explode. My stomach felt like there was a knife cutting it. I saw a bathroom and ran into it. There was no western toilet but a squatting toilet. As soon as I opened my pants I squirted diarrhea, and I started throwing up again. I was puking green and shitting brown liquid at the same time. I thought I was going to die, as my whole body was on fire convoluting and shaking.
I had a serious case of food poisoning, which I probably picked up in Beijing a few days earlier. I drank some Chinese Baidju whiskey, which made me feel like I had a hole in my stomach. I guess, whatever food I ate afterwards did not digest properly. I must have spent 20 minutes in the bathroom dripping excrement and throwing up violently at the same time.
I finally stabilized myself, but the bathroom was a mess; a tornado of shit and puke hit it at the same time! I walked out to the riverbank and laid down on the cold asphalt by the river railing. As I laid on the ground, Chinese tourist walking by smirked and laughed at me. I became oblivious of them and stretched my palms outward to the sky. It was a sort of meditation that I was doing. All of the sudden, my body shivered and I felt a strange soothing sensation permeate through me, as if the Buddha spirit came down from the mountain and entered my body. It was a nirvana! I was cured! The dizziness and the nausea stopped, and I felt relaxed lying there at peace.
Did I die and The Great Buddha came down from the heavens to collect my soul? I laid down there with my new found tranquility for about 30 minutes. Finally, I slowly gut up and walked towards the exit of the complex. As I was approaching the exit gate, authorities stopped me. They wanted to detain me, fearing that I was infected with a contagious virus.
I was expecting a biohazard hazmat suit dudes to descend from helicopters and to quarantine the area. Luckily for me, there were some American exchange students. I explained to them that I just had bad food for lunch. They told the Chinese that I am ok. I was allowed to leave.
The Chinese, with their convoluted logic, let me spend 4 hours on my back vomiting all other the place; once I was leaving, they decided there was a problem. There were guards all other the place, and not once during my ordeal did one of them come to my help,
I think enlightenment is always found in hardship, or in my case in Shit! 
Longman Buddha Caves
