Igor The Troll

Mexican Senorita

I met this sexy beautiful girl in Oaxaca, Mexico, and together we went down to Zipolite, Mexicoo. I really liked her. She smiled a lot, and she would help me with my Spanish. She made my heart throb.

We got onto a bus, which was a school bus from America being used for public transportation. The seats were vinyl and hard, and it smelled of Chickens because the locals brought young chickens to their villages to lay eggs. The bus ride was really tiring, but my new love kept me busy.

My girl was really beautiful. She had tan skin, black hair, and green eyes. When she smiled through her plump lips, you can see a beautiful row of teeth radiant from her mouth. The whole trip I kept saying sweet nothings into her ears and kissing her on her lips.

After 6 hours of winding mountain roads, we got into Zipolity. Well not actually Zipolite, but the village next to it. Right away we popped into a van, and in 30 minutes we were on Zipolite beach. At the beach we rented a hammock from a Mamasita – lady owner, and we crashed out watching the waves cares the beach.

The lady owner’s husband was a fisherman, and he brought in a fresh bunch of Bonita tuna. She barbequed the tuna fish for us over the fire. It was delicious.. We set around in our hammocks playing with the small puppies that were running around wild. The puppies were sharpening their teeth and biting everything in site, including my toes.

When night came around we were able to see Orion Belt. The sky was really clear. We hugged and held each other lying in a hammock. The hammock was really strong and did not break. Their came that moment, and we made love under the stars.

The next day we took a swim. The currents were really dangerous and pulled us in all different directions with a whirlpool motion. Zipolite means death in the Mayan language.

After a quick shower we were on a bus to Acapulco. It was a first class air-condition bus, and the ride was pretty easy. We slept most of the way, tired from love making the night before. After about 10 hours we arrived to an Acapulco bus depot. We checked into a cheap hotel by the beach.

We we really hungry and I ordered a pepperoni pizza. My friend was not too happy. She wanted to eat tacos, but she relented. At that time her smile disappeared and she stopped being friendly to me.

The next day I decided to try to make a little money by bringing my new bought Mexican artisania - handicrafts to a 5 stars hotel to sell to the tourist. My girlfriend came with me. I offered the Oaxacan rugs to some American tourists. They told me they were not interested. After a few tries I gave up. I guess I was not Mexican enough to peddle the goods.

My girlfriend got really angry with me, saying that she hates Gringos, she hates stupid Americans! I said to her that they are not stupid. They are just not interested in buying Mexican stuff. Then she said she hates foreigners. I said, “I am a foreigner!” She grew a blank stare! I got really angry and I slapped her.

I knew I should have not hit her, but I did. And she was going to have my life turned miserable. She called police on me and got me arrested. I thought I was definitely going to jail for a long time.

The jefe of the small jail came to talk to me. He said that the girl does not want to press charges but just wants you to buy her a bus ticket back home to Oaxaca. I was relieved that I was not in trouble anymore, but it was sad to lose my new Mexican love.

Mexican senoritas are sweet, but they are very hot tempered!

Gold Nuggets

After finishing with my smuggler’s operation in Mazatlan, I decided to take a vacation in Mexico by traveling around in different states. I headed across to Mexico City and from there to a quintessential state of Oaxaca.

Oaxaca, Oaxaca is a colonial city located in southern Mexico. It is full of Eucalyptus trees, singing birds, and a huge Zocalo – plaza full of cafes. The city itself and the surrounding villages are full of Mayan Indians. This is where the Mayan trail begins.

I started my adventure by visiting a huge market by the bus depot. There I saw all kinds of hand knit rugs and sweaters, pottery, and chirping birds in small wooden cages. I inquired where the rugs are made and was given the name of the village near by.  When I asked where is a gold shop here, so I can sell some dollars, one merchant told me there is gold in the near by mountains and that I should go to Rozarita village to buy it cheap.

I rented a Volkswagen Beetle and went to Pueblo Tera Pedro to buy a bunch of hand made rugs. After getting a few rugs and hand made sweaters I came back to the Zocalo for afternoon coffee and a siesta.  After enjoying coffee in an outdoor café and watching birds with rainbow feathers fly in and out of the trees, I turned in for the day at my hotel.

The next day I got up early on my voyage to Rozarita. I was going to get rich! After getting gas and asking for directions I took my Volkswagen Beetle into the sprawling mountains of Oaxaca. The road at first was paved but after getting closer to the mountains it turned into gravel and later into dirt. The Beatle did not have much trouble navigating the dirt road. It purred like a cat navigating the curving road slowly in first and second gears. I arrived at Rozarita and headed to Bodega – a store, to conduct my gold transaction.

The jefe – owner of Bodega greeted me with a smile. I asked him, “Do you have any gold?”  With a grinning smile he replied, “I have not seen gold here in ages! You should go to San Pedro. There, when the John Paul the Second came the residents gave him a bar of gold.” And as a proud Christian he took out a picture and showed me the Papal with his parishioners. I enquired to the directions to San Pedro and went on my way.

After driving for about 10 kilometers I heard a thump. It was one of my rear tires that blew. I changed the tire and after half an hour was on my way. The mountain road was getting really bad. There were stones strewn all over the places and at times really huge boulders that were hard to navigate. After about a half an hour, I heard another thump. This time it was my front tire. I had no more spares, so I had to decide, do I walk the rest of the way or do I turn back?

The gold in front of me guided my decision! I dumped the car in the middle of the mountain and started to walk. It was getting late and the road seemed to disappear in the evening dim. My adrenaline was pumping and I saw nothing but gold in front of me. After a while, a half moon guided the path and the chirping fireflies served as a beacon. After a few hours, I was really exhausted and upon seeing lights in the woods I veered off the path into the woods. It must have been two a.m. but I was galvanized like an eagle and knocked on the stranger’s house door. El Pancho – a gentlemen came out with his shotgun cocked. “Que Paso Hombre. Esta Tarde? - It is late, what is going on?” he said. I replied, “Soy perdido! – I am lost.” I explained that my car broke down and I was tired and hungry. He gave me some beef jerky and let me sleep in his straw shed.

Next day, feeling rested I got up and continued on my way to San Pedro. I walked hard sweating like a pig. The road seemed to have no end. I decided to take a shortcut and go through the valley. On a mountain slope I found an old Indian woman who lived in a straw thatched tent. I asked her for some food, but she said she has none. I saw her eating some pumpkin seeds, so I beckoned her for some. She shared them with me. I did not want to overstay my welcome, so I left after a few minutes. I found it sad that an old lady at the end of her life was abandoned on a side of a mountain to die. After half an hour walk, I was at San Pedro.

At San Pedro I started asking about gold. A few locals told me there is no gold. They have not seen gold in ages. When I referred to the Papal visit they all said, “We use to have gold, but no more!” Finally I met someone who recommended I go to Scala de Oro – Mountain of Gold. It was a small village down the mountain slope, through the cactus shrub. After a 3 hours walk I was there.

Again it was evening, the place looked desolated in the dim. There was nothing there but a few aluminum sheds. I asked the owner of one of the sheds if I could spend a night with him and if he could help me find gold. He said, “Stay with me tonight and tomorrow we would go find your gold!”  His Senora was really nice and brought me some food. It was cactus soup, which tasted so bad, but I was starving and could have eaten wood. The night was freezing with the wind blowing off the side of the mountain. I could hardly sleep.

The next day we woke up, and he took me to a neighbor’s shed. There was some gold. They brought out an ounce of gold. I said, “That is it?” They said, “This is all we have. It took us two years to mine it.” I enquired about the price. It turned out that they were selling it more expensive than in town. I said to them, “How is it possible that you are selling it more expensive than the market price?” They replied, “Because this is where we find it!” The logic did not make sense, but I was not going to argue with a bunch of Mexican Indians on a bare mountain. I thanked them and said goodbye.

I walked for a while and crossed a small river. I was really starving and tired. I met a man with a mule, and I asked him if he could give me a ride to San Pedro. I offered to pay him. He asked me what I was doing here. I explained to him that I was looking for gold but found none. Well, I said to him that some Mexicans offered me a bit of gold, but that it is more expensive than the market price. He said that is how they are. They are not interested in selling their gold. First, he said that I am too heavy for his mule, but after a bit of talking he agreed to give me a ride. He did not want any money for it.

As I was riding on the mule he continued talking while leading the beast. He said there is gold here. When he was young he saw it as he dived in the small river. But it is really deep down and it is a big pillar. He said that I would need special equipment to get it out. I agreed to pay for the equipment if he would show me the place. He said, “You are young and you do not need the gold, and I am old and I do not want it anymore!”  I was not happy with the answer but I understood what he meant.

Back at San Pedro I was able to find a trees hauling truck that gave me a ride back to Oaxaca. As we passed my car we hooked it up with a chain and towed it up top the asphalt road. I dropped the car there and continued to town with the truck driver. I arrived at the car rental place and explained to them what happened to the car. They went to pick up the car and asked me to pay them lots of money to fix it. Luckily I gave them my debit card as insurance. I had no credit card. At the end, I bargained the repairs down to 100 dollars. I came back to the hotel tired like crazy.

At the hotel I met a beautiful Senorita. She had black hair and green eyes. I was very dirty and smelled bad. I asked her if she wanted to go dancing with me tonight. She said yes! I took a shower and we went to a disco. After a few drink we started kissing. We were both very hot and horny. We went outside, and I placed her on the wall of the disco and started making crazy love to her.

I did not find my gold in Oaxaca, but I found a beautiful Senorita!

Mariachi Band Guadalajara

In the 80s, when I was around 22 tears of age I was living in New York City and had nothing going for me. I just dropped out of NYU, with a year left to graduate for a business degree. I did not want to work on Wall Street and saw no reason to finish the university program. So, I dropped out of school.

With nothing to do and not interested in finding a job, one day, I decided to hit the road. I bought a Greyhound bus ticket from NYC to Los Angeles. It was really cheap, like 69 usd, and the trip would take 5 days. I took the Northern route to the West coast, via Chicago not Southern route via Carolinas. I boarded the bus at Port Authority at 42nd street and we headed South West to Pennsylvania. I think around New Jersey a cute black chick boarded the bus and set next to me. We talked a lot and she let me play with her tities but would not let me go further than that. She got off the bus at Cleveland Ohio. I love minority ladies Black, Latinos, and Asian. They have lots of zest for life.

At Chicago Illinois two young hipsters got on the bus, a white dude and a black kid. They set at the back of the bus, with the black kid sitting down next to a sweet red head girl. I was bored sitting at the front of the bus by myself, so I went to join them. The guys were really funny and made a lot of jokes. We smoked some reefer. The bus driver did not seem to care, but a few passengers switched their seats. Then the black kid took the red head girl to the toilet, and they fucked there. You just knew they were getting it on, with all the moaning and groaning going on. The kids got off at Lincoln Nebraska. I was stuck by myself left watching the vast Nebraska corn and potato barren fields. Misery at its worst!

We passed Colorado, which was pleasant, winding around mountains and hills; we arrived in Salt Lake City Utah. I lit up a cigarette before getting off the bus. The bus driver told me to put it out! I said, “What the fuck?” Remember it was still the 80s and you were allowed to smoke on public buses. The bus driver replied, “You know, I can get you arrested for cursing in public? In Utah you are not allowed to smoke on public busses, least of all curse in public!” I knew I was in molasses, so I apologized to the guy for cursing and put out my cigarette. I knew, I never wanted to visit Utah again!

From Utah we passed through Nevada via Lake Tahoe, down to California. It was a very scenic route with pine trees, rivers, and hilltops. Driving over the Golden Gate Bridge was really the apex of the trip. There was the whole Pacific Ocean right in front of you. I knew there were many places I wanted to revisit and spend some time in; but I still was not sure where I wanted to go, and what I wanted to do. Right before arriving in Los Angeles I met a couple of dudes on the bus who told me I should buy some electronic stuff and bring it to Mazatlan, Mexico. They told me that I could sell it there for profit. They also said that Mexicans love American made stuff. Now, armed with a plan, I knew I was going to Mexico.

East L.A. was kind of shabby, with drunks and drug addicts wondering the streets in a half dazed manner! They looked like they were ready to fall down and hit the pavement, just supported by a few strings as if slumbering puppets at the end of their performance. I did not spend much time in Los Angeles. I found an electronics shop and bought me 130 usd jukebox! We use to call them Ghetto Blasters! It had a radio, two speakers, and two cassette tape players. Good deal at that time. I figured I could sell it for about 200 usd in Mexico. Buying one was a test run, to see how things go. I got back on the bus and headed to San Diego.

In San Diego I almost got me a tattoo, but I got scared at the last moment. Glad I did not.  I was thinking, “MOTHER”. In San Diego I got on a tramp that took me to San Ysidro, which is right on USA and Mexican border – USA side. I crossed the border by foot over a bridge to Tijuana. Once in Mexico, I decided I needed a bit of rest. I checked into a 10 usd hotel and crashed for a few hours. That evening I checked out the nightlife. I went to a few bars and drank Cerveza. I also visited a few whorehouses and did my thing!

Next day I felt fresh and rejuvenated and was ready to tackle the world. I found out that I could get to Mazatlan by train from Mexicali. I figured taking a train is better than 48 hours by bus. Was I wrong, but you learn from your experience. I took a 4 hours bus ride from Tijuana to Mexicali. There I got on a train and relaxed. I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. When I awoke, I realized my stereo box was gone. I fell asleep holding it in my hands, but when I woke up it was nowhere to be found. As I looked around, I saw a Mexican guy running away with my stereo box. I ran after him, but I could not catch him. I spoke to police, but there was nothing they could do.

I was really in disarray and very upset. I decided to spend a night at this town called Hermosillo. The town was very pleasant with small parks and chirping birds that flew in and out of the tall Maple and Eucalyptus trees. I hung out in one of these parks and watched the sunset. Later, I had a few Beef Tacos from a peddler and walked around the small city window-shopping. I noticed that Levi’s 501 jeans here are sold for 60 usd, while in USA I could buy them for 20 usd.  I spoke to a drug store clerk, who spoke English well. I told her my story of having my stereo box stolen. She told me that Mexicans are crazy for American goods. I asked her, “If I would bring Levi’s jeans and try to sell them for 40 usd, would Mexicans buy them from me?” She said, “Seguro!” – for sure! I knew I had to go back to L.A. and buy more American goods.

The next day I was back to Mexicali on a train. From Mexicali I went by bus to Tijuana. In Tijuana at the border crossing the US official asked me if I am American. I just showed him my NYC driver license and he let me pass. I was an American legal resident with a green card, not American citizen, but at that time the border rules were not as strict as now. Anyway, pass through immigration, nothing to declare to customs I was in San Ysidro. I figured to check out a few local beaches from San Diego to Los Angeles. I hitched along the way on the highway. I did not have much money left, so I slept on a beach and hung out with bums and drank MD 20/20 wine! We call it Mad Dog!

Once in East L.A., I picked up a new stereo box and bought 30 pairs of Levi’s jeans. No problems with the locals, just a few drug dealers tried to intimidate me by staring me down. I just kept walking, paying them no mind.  That evening I took a Greyhound bus to San Diego and crossed the border to Tijuana. I realized that taking a Mexican train is dangerous and did not want my stuff stolen once again. I decided to do the 48 hours air-conditioned bus ride to Mazatlan. I got on a bus in Tijuana, and rested until 3 hours later we came to a border check point. The actual Mexican customs is not at Tijuana but 3 hours inland. I did not know about this. I thought I cleared customs already. I had my 30 jeans stuffed in my army duffle bag, and my stereo box in my hands. I was a bit worried that I might be forced to pay duty fee. Shaking inside of me, fortified on fear of being caught, I came over to the examiner’s table. The customs officer pointed to my bag and said, “Ropa?” – clothes! I said, “See!” – Yes. With a grinning smile he said, “Vale, Salir!” – You can pass! I was really happy! Later I found out that the reason American goods were much more expensive in Mexico compared to USA was because of high import tax

44 hours later I arrived in Mazatlan, exhausted from a long bus ride, but very Feliz – Happy! I checked into an old dilapidated hotel in the old part of Mazatlan Riviera!  It was by the beach, but you could not swim there and had to walk about 10 minutes up the beach to find smooth sand for getting into the water. Otherwise there were no complaints, and the price was really cheap – 15 usd a day! There was a swimming pool at the hotel, the building was colonial type, and the furniture a bit old but was very comfortable. So overall, great deal for the bucks paid! After checking in, I asked a reception worker as to where I can sell my Levi’s jeans. Not only he bought two pairs from me, but also he recommended that I go to El Mercado and peddle them there. Later I went to the market and sold out of most of them in an hour or so.

The rest of a few pairs that I had left I offered to friends and people around where I hung out. The most popular size was 28 inches, so I had a few big sizes left. When people bought the jeans, they did not try them on, but measured the fit by sticking their elbow into the jeans’ waste to get a perfect fit! There was this one guy who sold Mariscos – Ceviche. He was a pain in the ass because he wanted a discount, and I did not give it to him. He told me if I do not give him a discount, he would complain to Mexian immigration about me that I am working illegally in Mexico. The first few days I would not give in, but just kept going to his stall to eat Mariscos, which were very good. Finally I relented and give him a big discount. After that he gave me a discount on my Mariscos. So I probably got back from him more than I gave to him, in discount. But one day, when I tried to extend my Mexican visa in Mazatlan the immigration officer said that someone complained that I was working there illegally, and he told me that he would not be able to extend my visa. He said I could go to a different city to do it, which I did. I wonder if the Fat Mariscos Man squealed on me?  Well, that is life!

There were other shifty and shady characters that I got friendly with in Mazatlan. There was this restaurant owner, a sort of Mafioso type. He ordered Nike sneakers – Air Jordan’s and American made Parliament cigarettes. He was really eccentric. Kind of looked like Lary Flint, but a bit fatter! He and his family bought a lot of stuff from me. Every time I went back to USA for a new load, after I came back, he was the first guy I went to see.  He never bargained with me or asked for a discount. Every time I delivered the goods, he treated me to a dish of Mariscos pasta. Another interesting friend that I made was a Mexican law student who was completing his law studies. He worked as a Legal aid for Fisherman’s cooperative. He use to do all kind of weird stuff, like fish for lobsters illegally – out of allowed season. We use to eat Mariscos together and drink Corona beers!  One day he took me up to a Marijuana plantation, up in the Selva – Jungle. Towards the end of my stay in Mexico, he passed his law exam and became a full-fledged lawyer. He bragged to me that he was doing law work for Colombian drug cartel boss Pablo Escobar. I do not know if it was true or not, but you never know with these Mexicans.

I must have gone to USA and back to Mazatlan more than a dozen times. But one of these times I had a problem. When I went through the Mexican customs via bus route they caught me and would not let me pass into Mexico. I tried to do a smart move and hitched a ride with a Mexican who was crossing through a checkpoint by private pick up truck. But it did not work out well. They asked me to show them all my merchandize, and upon examining it they levied a hefty duty fine. The fine was larger than the value of the merchandize so I decided not to cross to Mexico proper. I just turned around and walked into a small Mexican town, right next to the customs check point. I was really angry and hungry. A peddler was cooking bull steak, and it looked and smelled really good. In fury I grabbed the steak off the grill and devoured it. It was delicious! A few hours later, I went for the train crossing. This time, I held my stuff very tight. 24 hours later I arrived to Mazatlan without a wink of sleep. I was relived that all went well.

I must have done this for about 8 months. It was really fun and I learned how to speak Spanish really well. I did my runs, and then I hung out on the beach bullshiting with tourists and exchanging Mexican Pesos for US dollars. The exchange rate at the bank was very lousy so they were happy to make a better deal! One day I even met a beautiful Japanese girl. When I was exchanging money in a Zocalo – Main plaza I came over to her offering to exchange her dollars for pesos, but she was interested in making an international phone call to Japan. I brought her to my hotel room and let her use my phone. She even gave me money for the phone call. After the phone call we wound up making crazy love. When we finished making love, we went to take a shower together. I placed my wallet under the mattress. She brought her wallet into the shower. We did not trust each other when it came to money, but love was ok! At the end, when I asked her to stay with me, she said that she has a boyfriend waiting for her at the beach! Life is Strange!

Acapulco Cliff Diver

I was in Acapulco for a few days already, and I was getting itchy. I just broke up with my new, Mexican girlfriend, and I had nothing to do.

I met the girl in Oaxaca, Mexico and we traveled together to Acapulco. She treated me really nice while we were on the road, going from one small town to another. But once in Acapulco, she turned cold on me because I interacted with other Americans. One day I wanted to order pizza to eat. She really got upset and went ballistic on me. She screamed out she wants to eat Mexican food not Greengo food and went to slap me. I caught her hand and slapped her. That was a bad move.

She called the police on me and I got arrested. They brought me, together with her to a local police station. They put me in a small cell with other guys. Luckily I spoke some Spanish, so I was able to converse with them. They were telling me, I would be locked up for years for hitting a woman. I knew they were just trying to extort money from me. I said she is my girlfriend and we just had a fight. They tried to play hard nose, but I did not cave in. Eventually they said give them dinero – money. I said I do not have any. They relented, “Just give us money to put your girlfriend on a bus back home to Oaxaca.” I agreed. I gave them 20 usd and they let me out of the cell.

I was happy to get away clean from the cops. I was a bit of a bad boy then. I use to smuggle American goods over the border from San Diego to Mazatlan. I also traded currency, buying dollars from tourists and selling pesos to Mexican gold shops. I figured I would try trading money in Acapulco as well. There were many tourists hanging around the beech. I first tried in hotel lobbies. I approached the tourists and asked them if they wanted to change their dollars into pesos. They thought I wanted to buy pesos and sent me to an exchange house. I tried telling them, I will give them better rate than an exchange house, but it was a hard sell. After a few attempts hotel security guards came by and asked me to leave.

Changing money for tourists worked fine in Mazatlan, but it was a bit more difficult in Acapulco. In Mazatlan there were not many exchange houses, and security was a bit lax, so I had no problem approaching the tourists. I was honest, and offered better rates than exchange house, but it was hard to get people to trust you with their money. Thrown out of a few hotels I went to hustle the beach. There were not many tourists laying around on the beach, and the ones who were there, were not interested in changing money.

Still, I did not give up and continued to walk the beach. I was a bit tired from walking under the hot sun, and there was a really good-looking Senorita hanging out. I decided to take a break and say hello to her. I just said, “Acapulco is really nice!” She agreed and our conversation started. She told me her name is Maria and she was staying with her aunt up on the hill. We talked about funny things and got to know each other. I proposed to rent a car and drive around. She agreed. We got off the beach and rented a car.

We rented a Volkswagen convertible. My new friend Maria had long red hair, and as we drove the hair danced in the wind. We went up the cliffs and visited a villa for lunch. The villa grounds where sparsely laid out, and the house were white. We went to the pool restaurant to have lunch. The pool overlooked the bay, and waves were rolling and rippling onto the surrounding rocks. It was a magnificent look of the water.

We set down on the soft cabana chairs and ordered a dozen of huge oysters and a bottle of Champagne. I wanted to impress the girl. The oysters were delicious. They slid down your throat. It felt better than sex. The waiter came around and asked us for our room number. We were not staying there, but I figured why not try to be smart. I said my room is 405 and signed it as Frank. The waiter went away but I felt he was watching us. I said to Maria, let’s go. She quickly got up and followed me. We quickly got into the car and drove pass the security gate. We were out of the place and laughing like two children. She knew I skipped the bill, but she did not care. She kind of, like me, enjoyed the frill and excitement. We got away clean.

Our next stop was the Acapulco cliff divers. We pulled up to the rocks and got out of the car. There was a slim tan good-looking guy ready to jump off 100 feet cliff into the churning green waters bellow. One, Two Three, he ran back a few meters and catapulted forward into the abyss with his hands extended forward. It was a beautiful somersault and he disappeared into the waters bellow. Oh, what a spectacle. I would not even dream of trying something like that. It is so easy to hit the rocks bellow and crash to your death.

Back in the car, we drove down the cliffs road to the beach. At the beach, we saw a small island not too far away. We tried to hire a fisherman with a wooden boat to take us to the island for a few hours. He would need to wait for us and bring us back. He would not agree to wait for us. We gave up. I do not know why, maybe it was the oysters but I was horny as hell. I took Maria behind the rocks, on the side of the beach. We started kissing like crazy. We were both wearing shorts, and I found it no problem penetrating her. We went down on the sand and made passionate love. At on point a few Mexican Federales came around and started watching us. They were giggling and pointing fingers at us. I did not pay attention to the Mexican police and kept making love to Maria.

After we finished making love I drove Maria to el Bario. She hung out with me for a while but would not invite me to her aunt’s house. I guess the Mexicans are ashamed if they have a relationship with an American or another westerner. I said goodbye to her and returned the car back to the car rental shop. With nothing to do I strolled around the beach. I helped the local fisherman pull in a net of fish. It was really hard work. A boat went out and dropped the net into deep, and people on the beach had to pull it in. The life of a Marinero!

After a few days lingering on the beach, I decided to try the money exchange thing one more time. I got an idea, why not got to the airport and see if I can buy Mexican Pesos from tourists leaving Mexico. I took a bus to the airport and went over into the gate area. There were no exchange houses there, and I had no problems buying Mexican Pesos from the departing tourists. I had a big wad of Dollars in my hands and was buying lots of money at a good exchange rate. Shit, all of a sudden a few policemen came to me. They grabbed my money from me and dragged me to a room.

They kept screaming at me, and saying where did I get the money and why am I at the airport. All together I had a few thousand dollars on me. I told them that I needed Mexican money and was buying it from the leaving tourists. I said, I did not know that I could not do it. Right away I requested to call my Israeli Embassy. They would not let me make a phone call but kept intimidating me. They said I must go with them to a central police station. They put me in the car and drove around the airport a few times. Then they stopped and said get out. I cried, “Give me my money or let me call my embassy!” After a few minutes of negotiation they gave me back my money. They asked me for a few dollars for cerveza – beer. I said no and left the car.

Hustling in Acapulco was adventures and fun. I put my ass on the line and got away with a lot of shit. Looking back at it, my nerves begin to shake. It was dangerous and dumb!

Japanese Girl Orgasm

Japanese Girl Orgasm - Watch more Free Videos

A few hours after I published on Youtube this video of me having Sex with a Japanese girl, it was banned by Youtube!

Was this video Sex in the first place?

One minute you believe it is Sex, the next minute you do not believe it is Sex. Was it even me in the video? Maybe I just took some video on the Internet and put my voice over it? LMAO

The power of Illusion. This video is a masterpiece.!

I am a Mossad Operative!

Recently I made someone believe that I am a Mossad operative. Not only did he believe it but he told Hezbollah that I am Mossad operative. So Hezbollah thinks I am a Mossad operative and my Friend David Appletree’s organization JIDF is Mossad sponsored organization. JIDF fights Antisemitism on the Internet. Hezbollah
thinks JIDF is Mossad

The Power of Illusion! I am the Master LinkBaiter Troll.

In Social Media and Mass Media, it is not what is Truth, but what people believe is the Truth!

Jerusalem Temple Wall

I just finished hanging out in Italy on the island of Sardinia for the spring and summer. I did not have much money, but it was time to move on to a warmer place, because it was getting cold. I jumped on the train in Rome and was hoping a conductor would not come around to check my ticket. I had none.

I was able to stay on the train all the way to Geneva, Italy. There a train conductor kicked me off. You see in Europe you can ride trains for free, that is if you get caught they just kick you off the train. I spent a few hours walking around in Geneva, had my lunch, and got on a train to the French border. At the border I went through the visa check, this was before EU, and got on a train to Spain

On the train to Spain, I met a bunch of young guys who were vagabonding Europe, same as I was. They told me that you need a visa to get into Spain and it costs 40 usd. They said to me that they do not want to pay the money and will attempt to cross illegally over a small mountain path. I did not have much money, and what I had I needed it to buy food, so I agreed to join them.

We got off the last station in France and proceeded to cross this hill. The hill was deserted except some goats running around grazing on the grass. When we got to the top of the hill, all of the sudden, Spanish border patrolman screamed at us, “Parado.” We stopped. He came over to us and examined our documents. Checking our passports and realizing we had no visas, he stamped “Entry Denied” in them. I was really angry and upset that we got caught. He said that we must go back to France, because we will not be able to enter Spain. There was a fire burning in a metal barrel next to the checkpoint house, where he brought us to examine our papers. In anger, I took my Israeli passport and threw it in the fire. The Spaniards laughed, as if it was a joke.

I came back over to the French side and pondered what to do. A few of my new mates recommended walking through the train tunnel from France to Spain. They said that it was only about 5 kilometers, and they have done it before. Not wasting any time, we commenced to walk to the train tunnel. Once inside, it got a bit dark and cold, but things were all right. There was still some daylight coming in at the beginning, as well as, a few light bulbs shone some light here and there. We managed to get through the tunnel without an incident. At one point a train did plough through, but we just hugged the wall for about 5 minutes. It was not too bad.

Once outside the tunnel, at the first train station in Spain, we boarded a train to Barcelona. No problems with the border patrol, I was free to go where I wanted. I arrived at Barcelona and found a hotel for 10 usd a day. In the mid 80s Barcelona was really cheap, that was before it became part of the Euro zone. Now you pay 70 Euros for the same hotel. After staying 6 months in Italy and not having any Sex, I was wild and picked up a few hookers for 10 usd a shot. I tried to make some money by selling umbrellas on Las Ramblas, but when police stopped me they took my merchandise away. After it happened too many times I gave up.

After a week in Barcelona my money was running out. I was thinking what to do. Every time I have a hard time and do not know what to do, I think of going back to Israel. As a Jew Israel is always my home; and I decide that is what I am going to do. Hook or crook I will get back to Israel. I took a train to the south of Spain and arrived at the bottom of the European continent. I crossed over Gibraltar by ferry to Ceuta, a Spanish city on the African continent. I was out of money and had to move quickly. I tried to cross to Morocco via the border, but they denied me entrance, because I did not have a passport.

I was in dire straits, no food and no money. I did the unthinkable. I swam 10 kilometers in Mediterranean Sea of Gibraltar to get from Spanish territory to Morocco. I tied my sneakers to my waste and jumped into the water a few kilometers away from the border. The sea was dark. The waves were strong. The water was cold. I swam a few kilometers out and proceeded to cross. I was a good swimmer and swam about 10 kilometers before in the Caribbean Sea, but I rested midway, before turning back. Out in the sea, I got scared. What if the sharks would attack me? I had no choice. I was committed. I had to suppress my fear and keep going. After hugging the coastline for a while, trying to avoid being spotted by Moroccan border patrol I finally felt safe enough to climb out of the sea onto some rocks. I was safe on land.

My body was shaking and convoluting from fear and exhauster, but I was safe. As soon as I climbed out on to the precipice I met a Moroccan kid. The kid was carrying some bread loaves, and I motioned to them speaking in Spanish, “Tu puedas me dar uno?” Not only did the kid give me one of his breads, but he also gave me some change. He also warned me not to stay too long in the little village but to keep going. I thanked him and dug into the bread with my ferocious teeth. It felt good. I have not eaten anything all day. I started my swim crossing at noon and it was around 7 pm now.

I walked into the village and found a coffee shop. They were not too happy to see me but sold me coffee. It was kind of scary. They were all staring at me. My clothes were all ripped from climbing the rocks. I drank my coffee quickly and left. It was dark and I could not see too well where I was going. I got to this chain hanging between two poles and froze. I saw an international sign for mines, a skull with two cross bones. I thought I was in the minefield. As I stood there not knowing what to do, two soldiers approached my direction. First they did not notice me, but being scared I coughed. They came over to me and I was apprehended. They took me to a truck, and I was taken away.

I was in this truck with other people who were picked up in the area. Many Africans try to cross from Morocco to Spain and came to this area to do it. The soldiers took us to this valley in the woods. In the middle of the field there was a commander sitting at his desk interviewing detainees. It looked like a scene from a movie. I thought I was going to get the firing squad! People are being separated in two groups. One group would stay on the field while others would be put on another truck. I came to the commander’s desk. He asked me in Spanish what I was doing here. I told him I gut high on hashish with some Italian friends and went swimming in the sea. He asked me for documents. I said I have none. I lost my American passport. He motioned to a soldier. I was put onto a truck and driven away.

I did not know where we were going, but at least I was still alive. They brought me to a police station and explained to me that I will be taken to court where it will be determined as to what to do with me. I was given a baguette sandwich with beef. I really loved it. A few hours later I was taken to court. At court, they determined to deport me out off Morocco. I was happy!

I was brought to a detention center, which was one room in a basement of a building. There were over a hundred people in the room. No beds or mats. It was a nightmare. I was told by one of the officer that a USA consulate is sending someone to talk to me, and I should be patient. When the consulate employee arrived, I told him I have a USA green card. He told me it might take a couple of months to verify it. I said, “Shit, “ “where would I have to wait?” He told me I would have to wait in this room for the duration of the time. I am like WTF? Quickly I came up with an idea! I said to him, tell the Moroccan authorities that I came from Spain and they know me at the border and will let me back in. 10 minutes late I was in a truck being driven to the Spanish Moroccan border. At the border, I just walked by and waved at the immigration saying, “Hola, recordes me?” which in English means do you remember me! They said nothing, but let me pass.

I wanted to quickly get away from Ceuta and get back to mainland Spain. Right away, I went to the ferry peer. I had no money to board the ferry. I asked people for spare change to get enough to board. I saw a Jewish rabbi. I was happy, thinking he would help. But he did not believe I was Jewish and told me to come around to his house later on to talk. When I came to his house, later in the afternoon, he talked to me through his window on the third floor. After a whole bunch of questions he told me he would not help me. I felt angry. I went back to the ferry. I was told I could buy a ticket on the ferry; so I decided to board the ferry and try to ride it for free. On the ferry I met a couple German ladies who I offered to sell an Alexandria rig to. I bought the Alexandria ring from Russian Gypsies in Rome, really cheap. I did not want to sell it. Some Alexandria stones are very expensive, worth up to 10,000 usd for a stone the size I had. I still remember the stone because it changed colors depending on the temperature, sunlight, and mood when you held it.. But I needed the money to pay for the ferry ticket. I got 40 usd for it. What a waste.

Once I disembarked from the ferry, I got on a train for Madrid. I had no train ticket as usual, and I got kicked off at some station in Andalusia. There, I met a beautiful Rubia at the train station platform. I was heading to Madrid but she was going back home south. I spoke very little Spanish so could not say much. My attire was in disarray, because I had a bad experience in Morocco. My pants were full of holes, and I must have smelled like a sewer. Instead of taking the train to Madrid, I turned around and got on the train with the Rubia. We did not talk much, and at her station I got off and got on her moped. We drove up the mountain to her little house. As I walked into the house the girl got a small tub and placed it in the middle of the room. She told me to undress and get into the tub. I followed her instructions to the tee. She washed my whole body, and later we went upstairs and made passionate love. For the next few days all we did was make love without even eating! I was 25 years old when this happened. Anyone who has been to Spain probably knows how passionate Spanish women are, and “Rubia” has a special meaning for a Spanish woman! All you guys out there go to Spain and find out what is a Rubia!!!

After spending a few wonderful days with a beautiful charming Spanish lady, I left for Barcelona. In Barcelona it was cold. I had no money and was only able to buy a bit of food to eat. That night, I slept on the street by a library. In the middle of the night, a policeman awakened me. He asked me to move. I felt sick and was tired. I told him to fuck off, in Spanish. He arrested me. I was taken to court, and it was decided that I should be deported. I was taken to a deportation detention center to await the process. For the next two months, I smoked Duros – black tobacco, ate shit food, and was made fun of by Arabs. Finally I was deported to Israel.

I did not get to cross into Israel by dessert from Morocco, but I flew into Israel by Iberia airline. I went to Jerusalem and prayed at the Temple Wall. I thanked God for bringing me safe to the Holly Land.

Sex on the airplane

As an owner of an import company in Japan, I use to travel abroad a lot for business. I do enjoy meeting a nice lady and having an affair when it is possible, but I never had the luck or the opportunity to meet someone while I ran my business. Well things were about to change, as I was ready to board a flight from Osaka, Japan to Bangkok, Thailand.

I checked in at the airline check in counter, walked through immigration, and proceeded to the gate area. As always, there were many people waiting to board the plane. Japanese just love visiting Thailand, because it is cheap and close to Japan. I had to scout around a bit before I found an empty seat. I was in luck. There was an empty seat next to this beautiful young Japanese lady. I set next to her and tried to start a conversation with her.

It was very easy. All I did was to complain to her that they always make us wait a long time before boarding a plane. She warmly agreed with me. The ice was broken and we chatted about our work. I told her that I fly a lot for business importing fashion jewelry and clothes. She said that she worked as a model in a fashion industry. She sure looked the part, so I was not surprised to hear it. We talked for about an hour until it was announced that the plane was beginning to board.

We passed through the boarding gate and boarded the plane. I was beginning to feel sad because I thought we were going to be sitting apart and we would not be able to get to know each other. I went to my seat and she set at her seat. I perused through an in-flight magazine to keep my mind occupied. After the plane took off, I got up to see where my new friend was sitting. As I came close to her I realized no one was sitting next to her. I came over and asked her if I can sit next to her. She agreed.

I set next to her. It was two seats two a window aisle, so we were alone. We started talking and joking about all kind of stuff. We really enjoyed our conversation. I knew how to speak in Japanese, but my friend spoke English well. We sort of went from English to Japanese and back to English again. She had such a pretty smile and beautiful round eyes. I just wanted to kiss her, but I knew if I try to do it she may not like it and get upset. The food cart came by and we got our food. We also ordered some red wine, which was really good.

I think I had a couple of small bottles, so I felt really nice. The wine helped me loosen up and I put my hand on her thigh. She covered herself with a blanket, but my hand was still on her thigh. I slowly moved my hand on her stomach to which she did not object. I proceeded to be bold and opened her jeans button. There was no protest from her. I think she knew what I was planning to do. I put my hand inside her pants caressing her soft lower part of her stomach. I was trembling as I was doing it. I slipped my hand inside her panties and moved it over her pubic hair. I was in ecstasy. Finally I found her magic spot – the little button – the clitoris. She was beginning to moan slightly. I moved my finger inside her warm vagina.

We were both in heaven, flying 6,000 feet up in the air. Unfortunately the passion had to end, because they announced the plane was going to be landing soon. They also said the plane was 2 hours late. I was happy with that because I remembered that my friend was suppose to transit in Bangkok to fly to Barcelona. Being that she missed her plane she would have to spend a night in Bangkok. My friend excused herself and went to the bathroom. I wonder if that was a sign for me to follow her? But I did not, thinking I will be making love to her soon in a hotel.

After a half an hour or so we landed in Bangkok airport. We walked off the airplane and proceeded to the gate. All of the sudden my heart dropped, as I saw a ground crew lady standing there with a sing telling people for Barcelona to follow her to the departure gate. I thought my friend would spend a night in Bangkok with me, but she was going to fly to Barcelona soon, today. They held up the plane for connecting passengers, and the flight was to depart in 30 minutes.

My friend and I both looked sad. We started kissing and hugging each other for the next 5 minutes, not wanting to say goodbye. In the back of my mind, I was thinking to fly with here to Barcelona, but I did not. We exchanged email addressees and said our final goodbyes.

Later on, I tried emailing my friend, but never got a response from her. Still today I wonder what would have happened if I flew with her to Barcelona? Maybe it was love that was not meant to happen.

The Chinese girl’s Love

Traveling in China on trains is really fun and you get to meet a lot of nice young Chinese girls. The Chinese girls you meet on a train are very friendly and they want to get to know you. Of course you need time to get to know them, because they are shy.

Once I met a really nice girl on a train from Hang Shang China to Nanchang China.. We were both in a second-class hard sleeper car and got to talk for many hours while getting to our destination. She was really sweet and funny. When the train arrived she helped me with my bags and took me to a business hotel. She was a student in a local university and spoke good English. She came up to my room and we spent a couple of hours joking and talking with me. I showed her my blog and told her what I do. She seemed to like me and wanted to be my friend. We met later that evening and were going to go eat pizza at Pizza Hut.

On the way to the restaurant I put my hand around her, but she jumped away. I found it strange, because she let me put my hand around her in my hotel. She said that I couldn’t touch her in public. I was shocked and said goodnight and left. I figured how am I going to get to know this girl if she is ashamed of me holding her in public? I knew I could get to know her slowly if I would live in Nanchang and spend my time getting to know her, but I was just passing through and was not planning to stay there more than a few days.

The next time I met a sexy looking young Chinese girl we were sleeping in bunks next to each other in second class hard sleeper train to Beijing. Before we went to sleep the girl was smiling at me. She did not speak any English so I could not start a conversation. As it was getting late we both climbed into our bunks, which were opposite of each other. The girl kept smiling at me, and I smiled back. The lights went out, but I felt her presence close to me. I stretched my hand and touched her shoulder. She reciprocated by touching my hand. She kept pulling on my hand’s hair and laughing, calling me a monkey. I turned on my small light so we could see each other. She kept touching my hand, and I kept touching her shoulder. We made small talk, because of here limited English.

I leaned over closer so I could kiss her, but she turned around and said goodnight. When we arrived in Beijing we walked off the train together. She said she was going to see here aunt. We walked to a bus station and waited for a bus. I felt she did not want me to go with her. When the bus arrived I said goodbye to her. I realized as much as she was friendly with me on the train, it was only for a moment of convenience.

Here I was again on a train from Luoyang China to Xi’an China. It was a 6 hour train ride so I took a soft seat. Across from me was a nice young Chinese girl sitting. She was smiling at me, so I came over and set next to her. She did not speak any English so I just set next to her smiling. While I was sitting next to my new friend and saying a few things in English, my friend made me a crane and heart Origami. I felt a bit tired and my friend motioned me to put my head on her shoulder. I did, she did not relent. About 30 minutes later Chinese train conductor came over screaming at me to get up. I questioned why, saying the girl is my friend. He slapped me on my shoulder screaming get up. I had no choice but to get up and go back to my seat. He escorted my new friend to another car.

I though to myself, the Chinese girl made a heart Origami for me, but her society will not let her love a foreigner!

Tomome and Igor

It was really weird! I got tired hanging out on Friend Feed and decided to go out for a drink or somethings. I got on a subway! I have this crazy habit to try to pick up girls on the train. It rarely works but you get to talk to nice girls. I actually met my wife this way in NYC West 4th street station!

But in Japan is really hard because Japanese women are shy to strangers. Well honestly I never met anyone on a train in Japan. Well yes I met a few girls and got their email and phone numbers but never actually went out for a date! It is kind of strange why a woman gives a man her contact details but never meets that person later.

Anyway so tonight I am taking this train and looking for a nice girl to strike a conversation with. The thing is with Japanese women, you as a foreigner try to speak in Japanese to them, it is a turn off! They like to practice their English!. Well I tried with a few but no dice! So I resolved to just sit down, and di it right opposite with a pretty young woman.

The young lady was in a sweet slumber sleeping lightly! Japanese people often sleep on the subway even if it is a short ride like 30 minutes. They just work too hard. So I decided to do an artistic video of the girl, because she looked so shy and sweet in her sleep. I recorded a 2 minute video of her. By the time I finished recording she awoke. I just said “sleepy” and we started talking. Well I guess a few words. I came over to sit next to her.

So I kept talking to her in English as the train kept going. I intentionally missed the station I was going to and continued on the train with her. As we got to her station I said let’s exchange phone numbers and emails. She agreed. Trying to spend a little time with her, I said oh, I want to smoke a cigarette so let’s go outside the station. We did!

When we were on a train I asked her if she would like to have a coffee with me but she said no! Once outside at her station, I said let’s go to MacDonald’s and have coffee! Shae said yes! I set at MacDonald’s for a while and I was telling her about my life. My work on the Internet and my travels. I showed her some travel photos that I have on my phone from the last trip to Europe!

The thing was I could not smoke at MacDonald’s so after about 10 minutes we went outside and set down on the building steps by the entrance. MacDonald’s smoking policy is really weired. Cannot smoke from 12 midnight to 3 am! do not ask me why! Anyway sitting on the doorsteps we kept talking for about an hour. We exchanged our phone numbers and emails and took pictures of each other for the phone profile.

I offered to walk her to her house and she agreed. I walked her to the building where she lives and we said our goodbyes. I even kissed her goodnight on her cheek! I was a true gentleman! After we departed I emailed a picture of me in Morocco that I took when I went on a Camel ride in the desert dunes. A little later she replied with thank you and good night!

I met my new friend Tomome a few times for dinner and drinks. Every date she would get colder and colder towards me! I guess I did not fit into her predisposed agenda of the marrying type!

It is much easier to seduce a Japanese woman with a sexual encountering when you first meet them, than to try to get to know them through romance. While sexual seduction is enjoyable there is something missing there, because the feeling is fleeting!

Momojp Making Love to Yumi

Japanese Lesbian Girl Starts Crying

This story was told to me by one of my Japanese lady friends about her sexual experience with a Japanese lady.

She does not want to be identified, so let’s respect her privacy.

But as you know, I have many lady friends, Japanese and Chinese, so go find her and figure out who she is. If you find her, try to PM her, but she maybe the right one or maybe not, so you may get a crazy response.

Have fun, and enjoy the story.
Igor

>>I was scared.

you know one looks innocent JP girl here.
it happened me and my Boy and 2men who fucked her before.
she wasn’t crying,but she didn’t answer to me and my Boy.
my Boy asked her “if you dont like the situation,why you didn’t say us You Don’t want to” when my boy took us back to Tel Aviv.

I know she fucked with this 2 men who are also my Friends, so we made Yakiniku Party. there were also 2 other JP girls, but they left after Yakikiku party. but i said her come with us to next party. of couse next party was (((-: of couse we were smoking joint.

the party was nothing happened - coz of her … shit!

my boy likes her looking, so I made up his Birthday at my apartment,and invited her to come. we were talking, drinking, smoking…
then I started to kiss and she accepted, and touching her legs so slowly..
she accepted kissing, but she tried to leave my hand..

Yes, then she pushed out my body, and left my apartment…
FUCK!!!!!!! the game was over so shit!! she is 27 years old.
I am sure if she were with only my boy, she would have sex!

Darling,, I also really dont understand what their mind are?
especially your case…

they are interested in something new. but when they see the realize, they start to be scared. and they don’t know how they handle it.
handle themselves.

and what I know Japan, we have everything, mean we lost everything.

PS) dont put my story on the forum without my agreement

Interpreting her wink as an approval I first published this story on my travel forum, but my friend went crazy!

JUST DELETE IT!!!

DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND WHAT MY FEELING IS NOW??

HAVE YOU EVER REALLY LOVED WOMAN IN YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!

JUST DELETE IT , AND PLEASE DON’T PLAY WITH MY STORY!!!!!!!!!!

OK,, WHATEVER PEOPLE WILL NOT UNDERSTAND WHO IS HIM

BUT I KNOW IT WAS WITH HIM.
I KNOW COZ IT MY STORY.

NO ONE WILL KNOW BUT I KNOW , I KNOW.